Dinnertime at the Irish residence.

Dinnertime during the week consists of someone cooking dinner, and everyone else grabbing a bit of it another time during the night.

This is not the case on the weekends though.

The few weekends my Ma and Stepda are actually here are few and far between. Sometimes when in Toronto, I go and have dinner with them, But for the most part I make dinner for my brother and I on the weekends.

When they are home, my brother and I have a hobby you could say. Maybe more of a competition. Its called making Stepda uncomfortable.

Its a fun hobby, and is usually quite entertaining, especially since most dinners start like this:

Me: What do you want with dinner Ma? Red wine or white?

Mom: Both.

The Irish like to drink. Obviously. So usually we have lunch drinks, afternoon drinks, happy hour, wine before dinner, with dinner and after dinner, and margaritas before bed. Surely I must be kidding? No, i'm not kidding. And don't call me Shirley.

So, with Ma and Stepda firmly half in the bottle, dinnertime is always fun. Tonight was no different.

Stepda: Pork, Irish?

Me: I don't eat meat.

Brother: Actually, I was watching House, and they had this case where a woman had eaten uncooked pork and got a tapeworm in her brain.

Stepda: *pause*

Me: Wine?

Brother: Yes Please.

Ma:Don't give him wine, hes underage.

Brother: And?

Ma: Drink the white.

This is when Stepda changes the topic to something very boring, like work.

Me: So I went to the Gynocologist today...

Stepda: *spits out wine*

Brother: Whats a Gyno for again?

Ma: The vaginal area, Brother.

Me: Well, apprently, MY vaginal area--

Stepda: SO! The Leafs lost!

And this is when Brother and I realise we've won. For this meal.