Thanksgiving

On the train home yesterday, my head was completly devoid of thought. As in, I couldn't think of anything. It was very relaxing. A few hours later, I almost told the conducter to turn the train around, that I wasn't going home. I miss my family, I do, but I didn't miss most of my friends, and thats who I'd be spending time with. The bright side of coming home is that since The Guys haven't seen me in forever, they act like every second is vital, but I know if I stayed for longer that would fade. I like catching up with Rockers Girlfriend, but that's one night out of how many? I already miss my apartment and my being alone-ness. It's only for a few days though, and that I am glad of. I came home to my 'room' and found that all it had in it was a table and my bookcase. No bed. So this weekend is blown up mattress time, yay. I have family dinners coming out the wazoo. And now i'm watching cartoons. mmmmm cartoons. Have a good Thanksgiving everyone!

Settling in

My apartment is unpacked, and is starting to feel like home. Just as I thought, I don't miss The Guys as much as they miss me, but I think it's just because the were wearing me out acting like children. I go back to Toronto for Thanksgiving, so I'll get to see my family again which rocks. I messaged my boss to let her know that I would be coming back for Thanksgiving and to put me in for a few shifts over that break, a little extra money. She messaged me back saying that she thought I was leaving for good, so terminated my employee number. I won't get into the whole conversation, but I was pretty pissed off because the whole time that i've been planning for university, i've told all of them that i'd be back for the holidays. I know she was feeling pissed off because I was leaving, but I can't help but think she did it purposely so I wouldn't come back to work there, yet she still talks to me online all the time. ugh. Lifes pretty boring here, seeing as I don't know many people, but It's also kind of nice because I have a lot more time to myself. The osap thing got figured out (fingers crossed) and hopefully i'll be hearing back from them soon. either than that nothing else to report, I hope everyones having a good fall!

Catch 22

My first feeling of "what the hell was I thinking??" came the first night I moved into the apartment. I had one of those splitting migraines, where you don't care if theres curtains on your window or not, your going to strip down and shower and go to bed naked, if it only means the pain will stop for 5 secounds. I was naseaus, couldn't look at light, and about an hour after my Ma and Stepda leave, my Ma calls and says that my brother had forgotten his cell phone and I needed to drive it to where they were parked. The thought hit me when I had crawled under my duvet, with no sheets and one pillow, because everything else was still packed. Everything. My contact case, my solution, pajamas, clean underwear, Everything. And I thought, what the hell have I done? I've moved into an apartment I can't afford, to a town halfway accross the province, away from everyone and everything that I knew, with no way out. This sounds blissfull to some people, a fresh start, but to me I felt like there was no going back. The good thing about moving to a town where one person knows me? You don't give a shite what you look like leaving the house. You know you won't run into anyone you know, so you can wear those lovehandle jeans and no bra. You don't have to comb your hair if you've been moving all day. It's kind of nice. Like my Unluck dictates, I've had nothing but problems so far. No curtain rods to hang up my curtains, so everyone can see into my ground floor apartment with floor to ceiling windows. My OSAP was cancelled and I can't get ahold of the office until next week, which means no money for at least a month or so. my credit card is so run up on things like groceries and cleaning products, stuff i'd never thought of getting, that now i'm pretty far in debt. The move was interesting. Fatarse and another buddy moved all of my furniture and wordly goods from the house into the truck the night before we moved, which was nice of them, but we were supposed to have a trailer to put all the stuff on. Uhaul completly screwed us over, when we had booked a trailer a month ago, complete with confirmation number and everything, and suddenly, our trailer had been given away, the day before we had to leave. We demanded they find a new one, seeing as we HAD reserved it, but they hummed and hawed and couldn't find anything, so we ended up paying about $80 more for a truck from a different company. It took us 5 hours to drive from my town to Ottawa, me and my brother in one car, and my mom and dennis in the moving van. we stopped a few times for snacks and gas, but otherwise uneventful trip. Movig into the building, thats different, because we had to move in sections and it took about 20 minutes to move each section, plus when we got to the apartment someone who hadn't reserved the freight elevator was using it to move their stuff, so we had to wait. Ma and Stepda ordered in dinner and we all scarfed it down in record time, unearthing plates and cutlery. Then they had to drive back 5 hours that same day, because the truck couldn't be gone later than that. O yeah, it sucked. The night before I left there were a few huge partys, and all The Guys were there, going on about how much they'll miss me. It was nice, but I had the feeling if I wasn't leaving, they wouldn't have shown as much affection as they did. Oh well. With the exception of my clothes, i'm now moved in almost completly, still with no curtains and still broke as all else.

Hello all

I know, its been super long, and for this I apoligize. I've gotten an early acceptance to University, and have to work two jobs now to pay tuition. Unfortunatly, this means cutting down on the things I love, like this blog. I work 6-7 days a week, so hopefully things will calm down in september, check back here (if your still interested!) about then, but I won't (and don't) have time for the blog right now, I am so sorry.

To put any minds at rest, Rocker still isn't speaking to me and I doubt he will by the time I make the move to Uni. I've gotten over it more now, and it really only sucks when I remeber things that we used to do for fun, but like a bad breakup, the pain heals over time I guess. The Guys see me occasionally, but they have their own stuff going on and usually I only get to see them on the weekends because of my working all the time.

Again, sorry, but hopefully you'll still be interested in September, my first post will be about the move!

Girl Drama.

Rockers girlfriend and I had been getting along fairly well, to my knowledge. Now, i'm not normally one to make friends with The Guys girlfriends, because they tend to come and go pretty quickly. This one is so much like me though, I felt like it could've been a decent friendship, as decent as one could get when you base a friendship where the biggest thing you have in common is the love of her life was trying to do me.

When we go out, shes fun. We get along great and share stuff, its generally nice having someone to talk to when your out with a bunch of guys. Apprently though, she doesn't feel the same.

A few days ago, Singer and one of the kids was telling me that she didn't come out that previous saturday because of me. Singer heard her on the phone saying "If Irish is there, I'm not fucking coming!". The kid told me also that when he was on the phone with me one time, she asked who it was and when he said me, she rolled her eyes.

It gets slightly more complicated. Both times she was with Rocker, so is she putting it on for his benefit? Or is she just a great faker when shes around me?

The saturday she refused to come out, we had hung out that friday from about 7 to about 3 in the morning. We had a fantastic time, talking and chatting, and yet she badmouthed me the next day?

I honestly don't think Singer and the Kid would lie to me, they have nothing to gain from it, and they just aren't like that. But as well, her possible fakeness is just too real. When you hate someone deep down, you don't suggest they spend more time with you and so on.

I'm normally the kind to confront people, if they have a problem, balls out lets hear it. I hate when people have the testicles to hate me, but none to tell me why. So heres my dilema...

Rocker is semi speaking to me now. Only in public places, but small stuff like answering my questions, asking me questions and laughing at my jokes and stuff, which is a huge step from being completly ignored. I don't want to start problems again with this girl if it means that its going to split our group of friends AGAIN. I also don't want to be seen as weak. I don't want people thinking that if one chick can get away with badmouthing me, the rest can, because I honestly don't need it. I want to resolve problems with her, if any, but i'm not even sure if there are any.

So i'm stuck. Until I find out more information, I'm screwed.

Back at Steves music store....

This guys name wasn't Steve by the way. I fully asked.

He explained to us that of 14 bands, only 6 would get a chance at a recording contract. How it worked in Ottawa was that the audience votes for the bands. The top 6 bands who get the most votes get a chance at a recording contract, but of those 6, the judges pick who gets to go on. In Ottawa, the band that made it to Toronto was number 4 or something, but they start with the first band voted, and if they weren't great they move onto the next.

After all this, I was pretty excited. Hunk and Fallhard were trying their best not to look like amateurs, but I was too busy trying to look only half as pumped as I actually was.

The rest of the ride was pretty uneventful, we got stuck in traffic on the Don Valley Parkway (shakes fist) for two hours. The night of the Opera House came, and One of the guys drove us down to it.

The weird thing about this concert was that you couldn't leave the building, not even to smoke. You could only leave if you weren't coming back. Inside the Opera House was about ten thousand degrees, so I was glad I had worn shorts. Everyone was pretty pumped, and Rocker did his best to ignore, but as mentioned before, he tries to act like hes not ignoring me to make it seem like everythings alright to the other guys, even though they know its not. Pssht and they say females are complicated.

The guys were in the first group to go, so they were done by about 9:30. They blew the top off the place and everyone LOVED them. They played a flawless show and made it to second place (!!!!), but the group before them were a type of Black Eyed Peas group, and were pretty awesome.

After they were on, the rest of us decided to call it a night. Now, 9:30 isn't exactly a night, but the show went on for another 5 hours, and the Guys had to stay or they were disqualified. I would've even stayed to enjoy the other bands, but there was no where to sit. On our way out, the girls all stopped to hug Rocker. Way Akward. Even more akward was the way on of the girls (all of 16 yrs old) clung to him, and yes the green eyed jealous monster reared its head, but only long enough for practical irish to be like why bother? I said bye, and we left. Pretty uneventful night after that, and I was pretty disapointed they didn't win. They definatly wanted it bad enough, they should've got it. So close.

In other news, girl drama has reared its head.

The Opera House

So the thursday before the show, I went over to Fallhards to pick up my ticket, since he already owed me money, I only paid for about half of it. I got to his house and we sat on his lawn for a bit.

"What're you doing today?" He asked.

"Nothing really, why?"

This was a big fat lie, I had planned to be on the phone most of the day deciding college stuff. But that seemed unappatizing, so I was curious what he was doing. He told me that him and Hunk had to go to Toronto (ugh!) to talk to someone about the show, and wondered if I wanted to go with. So, away we went.

When we got down there, We passed CityTV, or as most people know it, MuchMusic headquarters. They were setting up for the MMVA's, and erecting the stages as we stood and watched. It was quite the site, seeing everything being set up, and there were people everywhere, which must've been frustrating for drivers already having to navigate through 1 lane of traffic each direction and cars parked on the sides of the roads.

We sat down and had some lunch, and made it back just in time to meet with the guy planning everything for the Opera House. He looked as though he had lived a bit of the rocker lifestyle, slightly balding but with a I-could-give-two-shites look on his face, and sleeves of tattoos on his arms. He seemed nice enough, but you could tell he was under some kind of stress, and had been through this shpeal about 10 times already.

"Alright," He started to explain, "This is how it's going to work."

Shite brother needs the net, more later.

SORRY!

To everyone thats been reading this-- so sorry! i've been up to my eyeballs in work and etc, so I apoligze that i've been lacking on the posts.

For all you who were curious what I did about The Guys...

The time came last saturday for them to see who was coming to see them play at the Opera House. They made the finalists for Ontario (14 bands from all accross Ontario), and not to spoli it or anything, but they made top 6.

This is revelant I swear. The problem is, getting into the top 6 relys on whether the audience votes for you, the more audience votes you have, you get into the top 6. Once in the top 6, The judges (from big name labels like Universal) decide who wins, being number one for votes doesn't guarentee you win.

So Fallhard called me up on wednesday and asked if I was going to their show still. I told him no, why would I spend $20 seeing people who don't appriciate me. After much argueing and bitching, Fallhard said that if I didn't want to go that was my choice.

Smashers had already invited me to Waterloo for the weekend, but no money had been put anywhere yet. I consulted one of The Guys, on of the kids I like to call them (2ofthem). He told me flat out that the only people who hadn't missed me of 8 of them were Fallhard and Rocker, and that if nothing else I should come to their biggest show ever, even just to show my support for the other Guys.

So, I told this to Fallhard. I told him this was it, this was their last chance to show some actual friendship. And he agreed.

More on the show later...

My own car betrays me...

Last night I was running back from my break. I hastily parked my car and took off into the store. About an hour later, I looked back into the parking lot, and I saw a sunfire halfway accross the parking lot at a weird angle. It took me about a second to realize why it looked so weird, it was parked into another car, and the license plate was mine.

"Ahhhh, Shite!" I grabbed my keys and took off into the parking lot.

The customer whos car I hit had just been in the store, and thankfully I had been nice to her.

"O my GOD! Is your car alright? I'm so sorry, it must've come out of gear! I-AM-SO-Sorry! Is there any damage??" I said very quickly and hysterically.

"My cars fine! Is yours alright?"

"Ah, Its a peice of shit anyways, Are you sure theres no damage?"

She said there wasn't and I apoligzed again, profusly.

In other news:

The Guys have offically abandoned me. Like the Titanic, they jumped ship at the last failing sign of trouble.

I haven't talked to them in weeks, and they haven't called me. Tuesday was Rockers birthday, and seeing that he left a message on someones board that everyone was going to Ben and Jerrys for dinner. Knowing that he doesn't have call I.D., I called and asked whats going on for his birthday.

"Umm, Nothing yet. I'm supposed to call Fallhard tonight and see whats up."

So I got flatout lied to. Irritation invited me to Ben and Jerrys, but I could tell from Rockers lying I wasn't welcome.

These were My Friends. Now i'm getting treated like someones ex, and we used to treat exes better than this. What to do?

No serious, I need some help here, what do I do.

Mystery Men and the women who love them.

I've done the unthinkable. I've made friends with the enemy.

That's right folks, I made friends with Rockers girlfriend. The worst part? Shes awesome.

The scary thing is her and I are so much alike, right down to what we wear, our mannerisms, things we say, everything. We're both Irish, both have a take-no-shit attitude, both love peircings, coffee,The Guys, etc. We decided to go to a brit import store, that had food from Ireland, like rock candy and saltwater taffy. While I was deciding what to wear (Needed to look hot but in a i'm-not-trying-i'm-just-better-looking kind of way) and when I met up with her? She was wearing the EXACT same thing I was going to, but decided last minute not to. Same shirt from my store, same pants. It was freaky.

The enevitable came, and Rocker was brought up. Then like a snowball, everything just poured out about the whole situation. And you know what? She didn't know he wasn't speaking to me, and their relationship isn't as flawless as I thought it was. It's horrible to say, but that made me feel better. It made me feel good to know that he's not just getting away with treating her like shit.

Anyways, i'll save the majority of the conversation, but it was good to finally talk things out with her. It was also good to hear that he considered me a best friend before he started being an arse. And, to be horrible again, she told me that when she got on his case about why he was going back with her, and whether it had anything to do with him not being able to sleep with me, he lost it on her. He said "yes, that's the reason I want you back, because Irish wouldn't sleep with me." Harsh, but it felt good to know I gotunder his skin. Yes, i'm a terrible person.

On a different female front, Smashers and I were going to have a girls night. We were having it because her boyfriend asked Fatarse and Smashers sister to go to a concert, but didn't ask her. He didn't see the problem with this. So after a build up of anger for the past two weeks, Smashers wanted to have a fun filled night of getting loaded. The only problem? Neither of us have money.

Since we both live in a small town, I told her that we should probably both go in on cab fare. She kept saying she had no money to spare, which is true, but then we ended up drinking my liquor and wine, neither of which shes offered to replace. Plus, she was all for going out and everything, but not willing to put forth cab fare, so doesn't that mean that I would have to stay sober and drive? Even before all of this, she informed me that she had left her stuff at her boyfriends, so she was just going to go stay there for the night. Our girly night had suddenly turned into a girly few hours. Her boyfriend called at 1:30 am, the considerate guy he is, and told her he would be at my house in 3 minutes, barely giving us time to finish our movie.

Here's my major problem. Hes the type of guy who does stuff when he wants and expects everyone to work around him. He could care less if were watching a movie, he'd say "Oh, go ahead and finish" but then sit there and sigh loudly until we turned it off. He came home from the concert at 1ish and when he told Smashers that he was on his way and she mentioned we still had a movie on, his reply was "Well, how late are we being then? Because I've been out since the afternoon."

I could go on for hours about this guys inconsiderate nature, but I don't want to get too riled before bed.

Shit rain again.

So today was a perfect example of my day being loaded with badness when it comes.

Today I drove downtown to see the gyno, not my favortie thing to do, because really, who LIKES seeing their gyno?

My gyno resides right downtown on Queen street, so driving there is always about as fun as stubbing ones toe. It was also 35 degrees today, and sunny.

First off I got stuck in traffic on the Don-Valley parking lot. Fab. So sitting on a highway for 45 mins sweating my skin off was great, and when I finally got out of my car my champagne colored shit was soaked in sweat.

Sexy.

I was also on the phone with the gyno the whole time trying to find their new office, which made me more late. I parked the car and hitailed it to the office, leaving behind a trail of sweat in my wake.

When I get there, The requisition from my GP hasn't been sent over, so they had to make a new one up. I sat while they did this and read an article in Macleans, the cover proclaiming the problem with Nixons leadership. The mag was older than I was. But, turns out accroding to their classifications in it, I live a very healthy life, score one for Irish!

Next I had an internal exam, which I won't go into too much detail about, but anyone thats had one knows they basically can ruin any day. Then I got called into work, on my One day off.

When I leave the gyno office, it pours rain right as I get outside, and finding refuge in a small bank entrance I stumbled onto this huge Underground Mall! COOL!

After wandering around the mall, I get back to my car and pay the guy in the toll booth. $12 for an hour and a half of parking! Outrageous! Then the gobshite has the nerve to come to my car and demand more because I was really there for an hour and 40 mins, not an hour and a half.

Then I get turned around trying to get back on the highway, since all streets in downtown won't let you make left turns, I end up in suburbia. Turning around I get back on the DVP and get stuck in traffic Again, for another hour and a half. FINALLY I get home, only to find my Step-Da has decided today would be a great day to surprise my Ma.

Ah, Piss.

So away to work I went, turns out we had to rip the entire back room apart, and still do stock. I was there 2 hours after we closed, still working away before I called it quits for everyone.

And now I'm home. After helping my Ma pick out something to wear to a wedding (7 dresses with accessories) I am ready for bed. At 1:15 am.

Goodnight all.

Retract those claws.

I hate bring from a small town. You can't do much or anything without seeing someone you know. For example, I happened to run into Rockers girlfriend.

Smashers and I planned a very quickly put together girls day. We went window shopping at the mall (saw one of Toxics good friends), Then came home and made Pina Coladas on the deck and had dinner with my Ma (who finished my Pina coloda for me).

Then we decided to see a movie, finalizing on spiderman, but first I had to exchange some stuff at work, which went off without a hitch. But when we were crossing the parking lot, I saw Rockers girlfriend. I waved and she waved back.

"Who was that?" said Smashers

"Rockers girlfriend" I said

"Oh," she replied "She was in your work standing right behind you. I thought it was a little weird she was starring at you but didn't say anything."

Apprently, she had been right behind me, but hadn't said a word! the store was dead, it wouldn't have caused her any trouble to say hi or anything. I couldn't believe it.

Everytime we go to a party and shes there, she acts like a friend. Laughs at my jokes, makes fun of friends with me, even helps me up when a bench a bunch of us were sitting on collapses. But then I hear from other mutual couples that she hates me and refuses to let Rocker talk to me. Weird?

I want to shake her and say 'I have no hard feelings, please stop hating me because you don't know the whole story' or even 'Of all the times your boyfriend cheated on you, none of them were with me'. I hate having this much drama over a guy i'm not interested in and a girl I would otherwise be good friends with.

This is why I only have one or two chick friends. Their too much work.

Raining shit, grab an umbrella.

When it rains, it pours.

Fatarse used to make fun of me because it always would rain shit on me like none other. And it wouldn't even be just a few little things, it would be a ton of bad things all within a short period of time, hence being called the unluckiest Irish.

Example: New years.

First off, BOO new years. I've never had a good one.

2 New Years(es?) ago, I foolishly held a party. The plan originally was that The Guys would play in the basement, and people would come to listen. However, They skivved off and said they would be back but they were going to check out another party.

Suddenly, G-unit showed up at my door. 50 gansters (ok, more like 15) waltzed through my door tramping all of Canada in its winter glory through the door. Then they get uncontrollable. Then stuff starts to go missing. Then my Australian who was visiting notices the spare room where all his stuff is has been broken into. Then he notices my $250 skateboard is missing (later found). Then my buddies little brother tells me he recovered a fur coat that had been stolen outside. Then we noticed my brothers speakers had been kicked in. Then we noticed part of the wall was missing. Then a huge fight broke out, which i had to help break up. Through all this I was on the phone trying to get the guys to come back, with no victory. Then Toxic showed up, he had been jumped and his head kicked into a curb a few times. Then I walked in on my friend (who had a girlfriend) with his pants around his ankles and my other friend in front of him. In my mothers room. Then The Guys showed up, I screamed and yelled, they left.

See what I mean?

Horrible. Men, advert your eyes.

Horrible thought.

My virginity has regrown.

I very rarely get my period (this is where the whole men not reading this comes in) for medical reasons, and today, using even a wee tampon was causing me pain.

Like, pain.

I've even forgotten what sex is even like, how sad is this. Smashers says to just go out and find someone, but its never been like that for me.

I'm at a loss here, any suggestions? I see no light at the end of the tunnel here.

May 24, The party weekend?

Like New Years, my May 2-4s are usually disapointing. Unlike this new years though, may 2-4 was still disapointing.

Friday I spent on the deck with one of my two girlfriends, Smashers, tanning and drinking. Then we both went to our respectable jobs. Afterwork went to Fatarses for an uneventful night of drinking and poker on his deck. Saturday? I ran errands the whole daytime, then took a nap. I know, i've got you on the edge of your seat, but heres where it gets sucky.

8 pm rolls around, so I call Fallhard for whats doing. He tells me The Guys are getting firecrackers, and He'll call me when he gets home.

9:30 pm, still no word. I call him, and he says him and the rest are on their way into my hometown. He'll call me in a bit.

10pm, STILL no word, so I call and tell him F.O. (feck off) and that I'm going into the maintown for another party. He says no, they're close to my house, just wait and they'll be there in a minute.

10:30 and i've lost my patience. I called him up and yelled "Feck this, i'm going to the mainland, i'm sick of waiting for you."

"Good!" he yells, "We're in the mainland, come to the park!"

"I thought you said you were in my town." I asked "We were, we walked back!" he yelled.

Fecking Liar. To get from my hometown to the mainland is at least a 3 hour walk, theres no way you could get there in half an hour, you would have to sprint.

I was furious, why waste my time? Why not just say where they are? The horrible realization occured to me: They were probly partying with Rocker, and he didn't want me around. They may be my best buds, but they have the whole 'bros before hoes' mantra. so. not. fair. I have no proof, but otherwise why bother wasting my time? Thoughts anyone?

Anyways, I was livid, and went to the other party where Smashers was. Fatarse and his girlfriend were there, but we was just being an ass to everyone, and I found out later arrived hours late with no explanation and no call, even to his girlfriend. Smashers left shortly after I got there, and I hightailed it out of there after the first boyfriend I ever had (who cheated on me with the host of the party) arrived. With his fat girlfriend. He looked like shite btw, I, on the other hand, only got hotter.

So that was the first bit of the weekend, Sunday was boring and basically consisted of me doing nothing but visiting Smashers at work, she was bored, and driving a very biligerant Fatarse around unwillingly. Monday I worked.

The good in the weekend? I got pulled over Saturday night by the cops for running. Oh, You read that right.

More later...

The Irish Anger

Being angry and Irish is a unique thing. We didn't get known for our anger from nowhere. If anyone ever watches The Black Donnelleys, this is a quote from them on Irish Anger:

"Now the Irish always got a bad rap for being drunk and violent. And all this talk about being drunk and violent just makes you want to have a few beers and punch people out."

This is what happens:


Stage One: The Insult and The Comeback.

"Irish, do the words 'mae-up' mean anything to you?"

"Do the words 'Feck off' mean anything to you?"

Stage Two: The Snap.

"It's just, you have some potential," grabbing my face, "and make-up might hide most of the flaws with your face. Not all of course."

Your eyes go numb, and your body starts to tingle, like chills. You get tunnel vision and all sense of class goes out the door.

"Let go of meh face."

Then something snaps.

Stage Three: The End.

When that something snaps, your eyes cloud over and someone steps into your body. Your actions aren't your own, and it doesn't matter if your bigger or smaller than the other person, you won't stop.

Fatarse weighs a good 100 lbs more than I do, and one time I was so mad I broke his jaw. To this day it still pops when he chews. I broke my hand in the process, but didn't even feel it until much much later, like a day.

Its not the drink. Its the genetics. The smallest Irish person on the best of days will give someone twice their size a good run for their money. Thats why they always caution you against taking a leprachauns gold.

The Worst Date continued

Where was I...

Right. Dinner. Ugh.

So after Emilio takes this big song and dance about paying the bill, (which he left the waitress a shite tip btw, even though he knew I used to be a waitress,) We went for a walk. He kept talking. And talking. Finally, I had had enough.

"I'm not sure what I was to do yet." I said, cutting him off mid sentence. He recovered, unfortunatly.

"Really? You seem kind of flighty. How do you think thats going to affect your work life? See, I was plannning...." and so on.

Anyways, finally the night drew to an end. After much walking, in fecking february I might add, he walked me to my car.

"Wheres you car?" I asked, looking around.

"Oh, I don't drive." He answered.

"Why not? Do you have a problem getting your license?" Innocent question.

"No, I have a problem with crashing all my cars." Innocent answer. No, wait, It wasn't.

Goodbye.

"Riigghhtt... Well, I'll call you." I wouldn't.

So off he walked, after trying to go in for the kiss I might add, to the bus stop. Ugh. I called Posh. She was in town and I needed a girl to vent to. She agreed to meet me for coffee.

So she picked me up, after I had stripped down out of all of my date clothes, taken off my make-up, and pulled my hair into a messybun. We were in the middle of coffee, when one of my friends from my hometown came in.

This guy and I live about 4 streets away from each other. Posh lives about 6 to give you an idea how small my town is. Theres always been this sexual tension between us, seeing as hes very good looking and cofident, but nothing happens because hes Rockers oldest friend. Just some backround for ya.

He came over and sat with us, and immediatly asked how my date went. After I told him all the horrifying details, he said "Thats nothing compared to my night. Rocker called me 9 times. And when I finally answered? He goes off on this shpeal about how you're on a date with another guy."

"Are you going out, I said. He said 'No'. Are you dating her? I asked. He said 'No'. Just for fun I asked Are you even fucking her? And he said 'Fuck you'. So I told him to get over it. Or try calling you" My buddie explained. Great. I looked at my cell, which had been switched off. 4 missed calls, and 2 voicemails.

This is getting ridiculous, I thought. My friend and Posh laughed it off. I was pissed.

We all went back to our respective houses, although we all live so close we could've just carpooled. Oh, and the voicemails and missed calls? 3 guesses who they were from, but you'll only need 1.

The Worst Date i've ever been on.

Before I start, to Nora: The Doc gave me painkillers for the pain, and it went away, so I guess it was nothing serious? It hasn't come back yet!

And now a trip down memory lane....

My Worst Date.

We'll call him Emilio. I met him at a mutual friends birthday party at college. He did the whole classic "Let me show you how to play pool" bit. But at the end of the night, he didn't ask for my number. So, being the ballbreaker that I am, I decided to look him up via facebook and call him on it. We went out for a date on spring break.

Now onto the actual date. Let me start off by saying I actually got dressed up to look casual and put together, and put on tons of makeup for that 'not trying' look. Laugh all you want, I know you've been there.

Firstly I get stuck in traffic. DVP 7pm on a tuesday. Almost as bad as the DVP 7pm on a friday. So I was half an hour late. When I finally arrived, I met up with Emilio. I noticed he hadn't got dressed up, he was wearing a tshirt and skater sweater, and jeans. and glasses. Now i'm not superficial, I am in fact, practically blind, but he wasn't wearing glasses the first time I met him which made me think he wasn't concerned enough with his image to break out the contacts for a night. Regardless,

So before the date began I told him I wasn't hard to impress (bald faced lie), and that he should just try to do something out of the ordinary, like spontaneous. His spontaneous thought? To take me for a walk in the middle of Scarbrough, at night, and 'let me pick where we eat'. Me picking where we eat isn't spontaneous, or even planned. The area we were in had old theatres that showed ancient films, which sounded cool, but eating anywhere around there wasn't. All the area had were pizza pizzas and pubs. So far Not Impressed.

But I was still willing to forget.

While we were walking (in the middle of february by the way), he stopped. I kept walking. Being as perceptive as I am, I kept walking until he cleared his throat. "Um," He said, making a huge head movement towards my feet, "Your shoe. Its Un-tied." He said un-tied like I had stepped in dog shite. "So?" I said, and kept walking. "You could trip and fall!" he said, starting to get hysterical. "It's OK," I reasurred, "My head will break my fall." So he reluctantly followed me.

We settled on eating at a pub called Lion In the Sun. He made me stand outside until I had 'got' the joke in the name, and then explain it to him to make sure I had gotten it properly. Now, I like pubs, when your sitting around with the boys and playing some pool. Not exactly first date material, but its the first place I saw that didn't have 3.99 meals.

When we sat down he started talking. And talking. AND TALKING. After 35 minutes of him talking about himself, I realised I had zoned out. Not that he was asking me any questions, mind, but still. Our food was pub food, fish o' chips and coka cola. It wasn't great and was swimming in grease. Finally our bill came, (still with no questions directed at me) and like most places the waitress put the bill in the middle. He looked at me.

"OH," he said with exageration coming out his arse, "I'll get THIS one." There won't be another one, jackass.

Shite, My brother needs the internet, more later!

Rocker update...

Yay! So, I just read my first few comments! Thanks guys, I will keep it up, and you keep up the feedback!

Last weekend The Guys played in a battle of the bands (and won!), so we all drove down to Toronto to see them play. Unfortunatly, I had to drive the Irritation down with me.

Irritation had called me that day and asked if I would drive. Now, I love my car, and I love driving, but I hate being taken advantage of. Toronto isn't far, but its not exactly 20 mins either. So, I told Irritation that I would drive down if I got some gas money. He agreed.

BIG mistake. Irritation spent the intire ride down there sharing his opinion with the rest of the car on how weak it is to accept money for gas.

"I don't get why you would accept $10 measly bucks for gas, Irish." He started, "I make $10 in, like, a quarter of an hour. I actually would take it as an insult if someone gave me money for gas. I pay $400 a month for my insurance, and like, fuck, $10 is nothing. I think its so stupid you want gas money for this car, its what, $5 to get down there? Thats so fucking gay. Like, I have no problem giving you it, I just think you should be happy to drive us down there is all..." And so on.

Now, I may drive a Sunfire, but gas to get down there is not $5. Not by a longshot. I also felt I was doing this arse a favour. But I stayed silent. Then we got lost.

"Don't worry, I know this place like the back of my hand, Just follow my directions." And when he got us completly turned around and back on the highway, he called Fallhard for directions. which got us more lost. But thats ok, none of this was still his fault. I'll skip you that running monologue because it was bascially him talking about himself and how I was an idiot.

Anyways, Finally we got to the Club, The Guys played extremely well, and won first.

Right before The Guys went on, Rocker walked past me and said "...looking at small stuff?" Now, I didn't catch the first bit of what he said, but him not speaking to me in almost 3 months left my mouth hanging open in shock. I just stared at him. I couldn't believe he was speaking to me. So I said, as sauve as possible, "A-are you speaking to me?" (smooth) He stared back and said "No." and walked away.

We were all very happy afterwards, and planned on partying hard. Fallhard and his girlfriend, and Irritation and his girlfriend all piled into my car and away we went. Just as we were pulling away, Fallhard and his girlfriend coughed in a very obvious and knowing fashion, and when I looked in the rearview mirror, Fallhard looked back and nudged his head towards Irritation.

Then I smelled it. Beer.

That Arse has opened a beer in my car.

"Um, Irritation, can you not drink in my car please?"

"I'm not drinking, that would be so disrespectful." And away he went, drinking, even after I asked him a few more times during the trip to not drink in my car.

Now, the Irish temper tells me to pull over the car, remove him bodily from the car, and leave him on the side of the highway. However, It's hard to pull over when theres no shoulder, and I also have to consider the other people in the car.

I was LIVID when I got home. I dropped everyone off and the last to go was Irritation. Of course. He kept repeating "I don't get why your so mad" and being drunk, didn't understand that the whole car had smelt the beer. He barely had his feet out of the door when I pulled away.

Not only had one of my friends disrespected me, when he fully realized that him drinking in my car could very well get my license taken away, But he lied about it. And Fallhard didn't even try to stop him. No one backed me up.

The thing that broke the night for me was that Rocker had talked to me. He had probly only spoken to me because his girlfriend wasn't there, but he had made an effort and I just stared at him. I felt like a moron. That chance may not crop up for awhile.

Work blues and the ER.

This morning I woke up in a very weird state. And no, not Texas. It doesn't need me to be weird.

I woke up with fabulous hair, no zits, feeling good, but with a bit of chest pain, blood oozing from my scalp, and my ear swollen. Weird eh? Well, having DD's chest pain isn't uncommon, and i figured something had bit me during the night making my head bleed a little and my ear swell. I cleaned everything with rubbing alcohol and set off to work.

Unfortunatly, the chest pain got worse.

I also had customers like this:

Customer: You've rung this in wrong.

Me: No I haven't, the price on the tag is the price it came up as when I scanned it and thus, the price I charged you.

Customer: You've changed it, I know it! Do I have stupid written accross my forehead?

Me: Yes actually, have you tried scrubbing it off?

After that delightful experiance, my boss noticed I was holding my chest.
"Are you alright?" she asked.

"My chest hurts, and I can't breathe."I answered.

As the day went on, my breathing got worse, as did work ("Can I have a changeroom?" "No, sorry we don't let people try things on. You just sorta guess. The changerooms are just for decoration")and by the end of the day I could hardly breath.

I decided to go to the ER. BBBIIIGGG MMIISSTTAKKEEEEE. I'm not sure what the ER's are like anywhere else, but here, unless your bleeding from the head, and sometimes even if you are, you better settle in for a 4+ hour wait. After 2 hours I said nuts to this and came home. I plan to see my Doc tomorrow, and I have a nice collection of hospital braceletts, but either than that it only hurts if I move or do anything involving breathing. No worries.

I'll keep yeh posted

Dinnertime at the Irish residence.

Dinnertime during the week consists of someone cooking dinner, and everyone else grabbing a bit of it another time during the night.

This is not the case on the weekends though.

The few weekends my Ma and Stepda are actually here are few and far between. Sometimes when in Toronto, I go and have dinner with them, But for the most part I make dinner for my brother and I on the weekends.

When they are home, my brother and I have a hobby you could say. Maybe more of a competition. Its called making Stepda uncomfortable.

Its a fun hobby, and is usually quite entertaining, especially since most dinners start like this:

Me: What do you want with dinner Ma? Red wine or white?

Mom: Both.

The Irish like to drink. Obviously. So usually we have lunch drinks, afternoon drinks, happy hour, wine before dinner, with dinner and after dinner, and margaritas before bed. Surely I must be kidding? No, i'm not kidding. And don't call me Shirley.

So, with Ma and Stepda firmly half in the bottle, dinnertime is always fun. Tonight was no different.

Stepda: Pork, Irish?

Me: I don't eat meat.

Brother: Actually, I was watching House, and they had this case where a woman had eaten uncooked pork and got a tapeworm in her brain.

Stepda: *pause*

Me: Wine?

Brother: Yes Please.

Ma:Don't give him wine, hes underage.

Brother: And?

Ma: Drink the white.

This is when Stepda changes the topic to something very boring, like work.

Me: So I went to the Gynocologist today...

Stepda: *spits out wine*

Brother: Whats a Gyno for again?

Ma: The vaginal area, Brother.

Me: Well, apprently, MY vaginal area--

Stepda: SO! The Leafs lost!

And this is when Brother and I realise we've won. For this meal.

Being a Good Kid.

There was this girl that I used to play with as a kid. Her name was Erin, and she was adopted. Like most adopted kids, she was smothered with love from her adoptive parents, and treated like any other spoiled child. Unfortunatly that where our similarities end.

I may not keep in contact with her 20 years later, but my Ma keeps in contact with her parents and catchs up from time to time. Erin is now my age, with a son. She got pregnant at 16, has yet to finish grade 10 while other people our age are into their 3rd year of university. She is irresponsible, doesn't care for her son, throws parties and leaves the baby alone to crawl around amongst drunks. She had the police called to her house because she told people that she was being 'held against her will', even though she had at that time run away for a week without telling her parents where she was going.

Now, I am not one to lecture people on how they parent their children. God knows, these parents tried their hardest to discipline her. What do you think? Is it an adoption thing?All adopted kids in my age group that I know are quite wild, but that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with them being adopted, just spoiled.

My brother and I were brought up very well off. We had a nanny to take care of us until i was about 12, a cleaning lady, etc etc. We still grew up more grounded and normal than any kids that I know of, the worst I've ever done was come home with tattoos, and the worst he's done is come home with an eyebrow ring. Everytime my Ma goes to meet with these parents, she comes home crying and hugging me, thanking me for being a good kid. If my Ma is bawling over a kid that isn't even hers? I can't imagine what these parents go through.

The only thing i attribute to being a good kid is good old-fashioned guilt trips. I know, it sounds horrible, but we were kept in line by Irish guilt. My Granny used to be the master of it, saying things to my Da like, "Are you feeling better dear?" "Yes, " My Da would reply, "but I wasn't sick?" Then the kicker from her, "Oh, but you hadn't called in a few days, I thought the only reason would be that you were ill." Oh, she was the master.

The reason I never swore off to my parents? The reason I never came home drunk/stoned/pregnant? The reason I got good grades? Apart from coming from a smotheringly loving family, I felt guilty if i did any of the above. And you know what? It made me a better person in the end.

For any potential parents out there? If you plan on spoiling children, without giving them so much as a dishwasher-unpacking duty? Don't be too surprised when years from now it's impossible to correct their holyier-than-thou attitude. My StepDa's children have a sense of intitlement bigger than the Pope himselves.

Retail, my bitter end.

Alright, so without giving you too much detail into what I do, i'll leave it at retail.

Now, Retail is an alright job, helps that i'm pretty decent at it. What doesn't help? The cooky customers.

My least favorite type of customer is the Flea Market shoppers. These aren't people who look for Flea market discounts, but actually are in the business of flea markets. They come in, buy everything on sale, fight you on the prices, ask for a discount, and ask to keep the hangers. I'm not all Ra-ra about the company I work for, but having our stuff bought then resold seems like a dumb way to rip people off for these flea market employees benefit. They always ask the same 3 questions:

1) "What kind of a discount can you give me?" This is a little strange. My store is a huge name retail store, the employees can't simply discount things when they feel like it. No matter who they talk to, no matter the fight they put up, we.can't.do.anything. Most of the time they won't even listen, You'll explain the concept, and They'll rally with "Ok, ok. $14. Now, thats a steal." Reminder: Theyre buying OUR stuff.

2)"You can just leave the hangers on". Well, no, I can't. We can't let anyone leave the store with hangers, it looks like shoplifting. We have thousands in the back room, but we still can't let them leave with them. I've explained this to one couple personally about 6 times, and every single time they just smile and tell me I can leave the hangers on.

3)"This is $10." This isn't so much a question as a demand. They tell you every single price on everything in front of them, not realising that the price comes up on the computer when its scanned. When I correct them, they start yelling that i'm wrong and then switch to "So what can you give me this for?"

Flea market employees are the most frustrating but equally the most fun to entertain yourself. By the end you want to kill them and their insessent questions, but seeing them get mad is the ultimate satisfaction. Telling them no, they can't keep the hangers, telling them the prices their fighting are wrong etc etc. Great fun.

Besides flea market employees, random customers are frustrating too. Unlike regular customers, they think that what they say goes. My least favorite are the customers that repeat the prices back to me. They ask, "This is $10? and this is $15? and this is $35? and this is..." I fully understand if you need one thing price checked, maybe it was on the wrong rack. BUT, when you ask every single price, even though you know perfectly well the price displayed is what it is, and you are only asking for the off chance that something is on sale? Sales associates get less likely to want to help you, very quickly. WE HAVE to tell you if something is on sale, or is buy one get one free, or anything. We get in trouble if we don't.

I dislike whiny teenagers. I dislike people who call me an ignorant white girl. I dislike anyone who doesn't wear deoderant or brush their teeth and feels they must lean in to talk to me. I dislike people who bring small children into the store and yell at them or drag them around while they look for 'those fabulous jeans." I very much dislike people who won't control their children who run into things and into my employees. I don't have any stories about those, they just bug me.

YES i'm done venting. Understand that for the most part, I love helpign people. It makes me feel very accomplished. But next time any of you feel the need to be rude to a sales associate, just think what you would do in that situation, and if that doesn't make you realise what your doing, think about they day they've probly had. Some behavious is inexcussible, yes, but most fo the time if someone is rude to you they don't mean to be.

Just as a side note, especially for all you women out their? Don't ever ask someone when their due, or how long they've been pregnant. Unless they innitiate the conversation i.e. 'well, i'll have to do it after the baby is born *pat stomach*' DO. NOT. ASK. It is not only rude, but if your wrong? It is very hurtful to think you look pregnant. My 20 yr old employee got asked when her baby was due today, and was reduced to tears in the backroom. Some people are fat/chubby/not as perfect as you, so please don't draw attention to it please?

The Toxic Ex

Everyone has one.

You know the one i'm talking about. The one where hindsight was 20/20, and if thats true then you must've been fecking blind while dating them.

So this is my Toxic Ex story.

Toxic and I dated for collectivly about a year and a half. It took him a long time to get around to asking me out, but we went out and on dates and stuff before being 'official', so I still count it. Things were really good for the first few months, I was in love. I think I was actually more in love with the idea of being in love than I was actually in love with Toxic. Now, i'm not about to go through a year and a halfs worth of Toxic stories, i'll pick out the few valuable ones for later posts, but here are the relevant points to let you flesh out the main story.

Good things:

-Had the juciest lips. They were big an pouty and I loved chewing on them.
-Had great friends. They were always nothing but polite and nice towards me, and they knew The Guys aswell so we all got along.
-Had a great mother and step father. His mother never let him get away with anything, made him do all his own laundry and dishes, and cook for himself, which I don't think anyone ever told her what an angel she was for starting him early on this.
-The sex was ah-may-zing.
-Great to cuddle with.
-Never forgot aniversaries and spoiled me somewhat.

Bad things:

-He idolized his loser of a father. His Da would constantly pour poison in his ear about how his mother had had affairs (It was actually his Da that did I found out later), He had no decent job, he was an alcoholic, he would constantly attack Toxics Ma to the point of making the kids end up in tears over stupid shite like child support payments, (He wasn't making his).
-From the over nurturing of his Da, Toxic felt he was entitiled to so much more, and the world was out to get him. He constantly had to be reasurred and have his ego stroked everytime something didn't go his way.
-He threw tantrums when he didn't get his way. I'm talking everything from crossing the arms over the chest and pouting like a fecking child, to yelling and screaming and stomping his feet.
-He hated 'my' friends. i.e. The Guys. Rocker hates him for this. Toxic never wanted me to see The Guys because they were 'all trying to sleep with me', like i'm so incredibly impressionable.
-Fatarse, my best friend, didn't see me for 2 months because every waking moment had to be spent with Toxic when I went away to school.
-I lived on the campus of my college, and it was 45 mins away driving, and 3 hours busride. Toxic would guilt me into taking the bus back once during the week to see him for a night (about 2-3 hours not including bus ride) and every single weekend. Every weekend was also seeing him and only him unless I was working.
-He wouldn't ever leave anything at my house. I don't know why this bugged me but it did.
-He stayed very good friends with his ex, and the first time I ever met her was when she came up behind him, wrapped his arms around his waist and whispered in his ear 'God, I miss you so much.'
-He had a hairy chest. It just wigged me out.

I didn't realise until after, but throughout the relationship, Rocker was right. Toxic was very controlling. He didn't have many bad habits that got under my skin, he took good care of himself, and on paper he was a great guy. But my opinion never mattered. All through highschool I was known for my confidence, and suddenly I had absolutly no self-respect.

I won't go too far into this, like I said. But he was definatly the most toxic and damaging to my self-esteem. Even the cheaters weren't that bad.

Goodbyes

The end of the school year is a few days away. I am not officially almost done my first year of college. Man it sucked. Didn't help that my floor was known as the only floor in residence (thats 3 buildings, 9 floors each, about 2500 people) as the destruction floor. My floor fines have totalled close to $3,000. Everything from broken windows (from fists) broken walls (drunk people) broken doors, etc. The most memorable moment was when we had visitors from the 5th floor of my building come down to my floor.

I walked into our common room to find them throwing a variety of candy and food into the corner, and getting it all on tape. They also had torn apart one common room chair and were shoving each other into the walls.

"What the fack do yeh think yer doing?" I said in my best don't-fuck-with-me-voice, Ilearned from my Da.

The girl holding the camera turned to me and laughed. "Um, destroying your common room? We thought you wouldn't mind with all your floor fines." The other people in the room turned to me. I stared at the girl until her smile fell off her face. She put down the camera and turned to me fully.

"Destroying our common room?" I said. "You want to fuck with us? You go ahead and throw smarties around the room. No, please, continue. Because whatever you do to our common room? We'll do 3-fold to yours. Go ahead and tear these chairs apart, because we'll be upstairs to yours tomorrow and have no qualms against blowing yours the fack up." I stared at her a little longer, and they started to fidget nervously. Our floor was known for destroying things without thinking of it, so I could see them turning over in their head what we could actually do if we put our minds to it. I left them with that and turned around and walked out.

I went to my RA's door. I explained the situation to him and told them what i'd said, he laughed, but decided to add his two cents to the common room. Now, if they thought a 5 ft little chick like me was scary, imagine a gay man on a rampage. He marched in there, or I should say shashayed, and smacked down a peice of paper and a pen. He crossed his arms and said "Alright, I want all your names, and your RA's names right now. Then I want you to clean this place up. And if its not spotless? You'll be hearing back from me. Oh, and don't worry about the chair, i'll transfer it to your floor fines." He then sashayed out of the room with their names. I had honestly never seen students so reluctant to be put in their place. They grumbled and cleaned the room, I gotta say it looked better than any cleaning job the cleaning ladies ever did.

And we haven't seen them since.

Part 3, The Curtain

Where was I. The last thing he ever said, right.

We had planned on going away for the weekend to visit a friend of ours down south. Him and this friend always had this long standing rivalry, and I didn't know it at the time, but their friendship was hanging on by a thread. Now this friend constantly hit on me aswell, but not to the extent that Rocker did, and I appriciated it.

The night that we were supposed to leave, I called up rocker telling him I was going to pick him up. He came on the phone and asked incredulously, "Why would we leave tonight, theres ice on the road." Now, looking out my window, the roads were bone dry, they weren't even wet. But he couldn't be swayed, we weren't leaving under any circumstances because he did not want to die, and we surely would on these icy roads. There wasn't even snow on the grass this time of year, but he wouldn't budge. The more frustrated I got, the more he dug his heals in. Finally, pissed off, I said that he could drive himself up, and that I was going up without him. He laughed, but didn't say why, and hung up the phone.

I called the friend to say that I was coming up, but Rocker would be joining us tomorrow. "Um, I'm just on my way out. Rocker called about an hour ago and said you guys weren't coming, so I made other plans." That was it. I was furious, he had the testicles to call up and change our plans like he was in control of me. Friend was even more angry than I was.

So Saturday I called Rocker, and he didn't pick up the phone, and truthfully I secretly didn't want him to come, with the way he was acting. I ended up having a great weekend, and when I got home sunday night, we had our final conversation.

I blew up at him, telling him he had no right to call and cancel plans like he owned me and didn't need to clear things like this. He did the most irritating thing he could. He gave one word non-commital answers, and when I finally got tired of screaming, he said "Fine, Just friends."

That was it.

I Found out later, the moment those words left his lips, him and his girlfriend got back together. As of now he hasn't spoken to me in a few months. At first I thought he was just being stubborn and not answering me, and he would evetually give in when he saw it didn't bother me. But a few days ago I got a call from Singer.

We got talking about Rocker and he said that Rocker had shared some information with Singer. He said that the reason Rocker wasn't speaking to me was that his girlfriend had forbade him. Not bad for someone I thought had no spine, but the worst was still to come.

"Thats not all, Irish. She thinks you were the one hitting on him. I think deep down she knows he'd leave her in a second for you, and that's why she doesn't want him talking to you."

My mind went numb. I couldn't function for a minute or so. How DARE he turn this around on me? I endure almost 2 years of sexual harassment, and suddenly i'm the bad guy? And she doesn't even get to hear my side of the story? The Guys all know it, and if she ever bothered to ask i'm sure they'd straighten her out, but she won't. Now hes gone to the extreme and won't go to the same parties as me, unless its mandatory like a birthday.

So thats the good, the bad, and the Unlucky, although i'm hard pressed to find where the good was in all that.

Rocker Drama part 2

So understandibly, life with Rocker was a wee bit akward. Everyones had that friend that always playfully hits on them, but deep down you know they aren't kidding. I knew deep down he wasn't kidding.

When I was finally done with highschool, the real drama began. The Guys started to pick up on it and started to exploit the situation, making it akward and making me the butt end of many jokes. Whenever someone made a dirty joke and mentioned me, the next thing said would be "What are you, Rocker?". Now, I could deal with being joked at, and by now I was so used to Rockers pursuits that I could deal with them too. What I couldn't deal with? The fact that after almost 2 years of knowing him, I found out he'd had a girlfriend the whole time.

Do you ever step in gum, and when its attached to the bottom of your shoe it picks up all that scummy, dirty gross stuff? To me, cheaters are worst than that stuff. They are lower and more disgusting then stuff you pull out of bathtub drains. Anyone who could treat someone they love(d) that way, whether current or not, doesn't deserve an ounce of sympathy in my books. I realise there are often special circumstances, but this was not one of them.

So for 2 years, Rocker had been dating a girl lets call Stacy. How had I not known? Well, in my defence, he obviously never mentioned her, and he never brought her out to any parties, never introduced her to anyone. They had been on and off for about 2 and a half years, and the Guys had only met her once or twice, if at all. This was the last straw for me, espcially when he found out I knew, and whenever she called, he talked to her like she was dirt. I had no idea why she took this kind of treatment, but I had never met the girl and it wasn't really my place to inform her of his constant cheating (not with me but with others). Who was I to act self-righteous and ruin this girls life?

The beginning of the end started really about Valentines day. Rocker had switched tactics and stopped hitting on me outright, and tried for the friend angle. I knew something was up for Valentines because he kept asking me my address at college. I refused to tell him and told him to please not get me anything.

Valentines day arrived. That night about 7pm, I get a call to come down to the front desk, theres a package for me. dreading the worst couldn't have even prepared me for what I saw. I rounded the desk and opened my mouth to ask for my package when I saw it. It was hard to miss, seeing as Rocker was standing beside it. Rocker was leaning up against the wall, swinging a 4ft long box from his thumb and middle finger.

Now, only two things come in these boxes. A gun, or Flowers. I was personally hoping for a gun, but when I opened it, I found a dozen long stemmed de-thorned red roses. $68.00 worth of long stemmed de-thorned roses I found out later. I was shocked. Everyone was starring at me. Even the front desk people were looking at me expectantly. Rocker came up beside me.

"Will you go on a date with me now?" He asked.

I was thinking fast. I had no feelings for the guy, but he drove 45 mins out of his way to hand deliver me this box of fantastic flowers. And they were fantastic, let me tell you. They practically glowed in all their glorious smell. I sighed, 'No' obviously wasn't in his vocabulary anymore, so I answered "I'll let you buy me a coffee, let me go change." And I did. And he did. And it was just like any other time I had a coffee with him, just normal. And despite myself, everytime I saw the flowers, I smiled.

It was basically downhill from that.

The end came when I told him I would never date someone who still had a girlfriend, it was against what I believed in. His response? He broke it off with both his Girlfriend and his mistress to impress me. It didn't, and I think that was the final straw for him.

He started to get really bitter and angry right before my birthday. Of all the Guys, he would be the only one to really remeber my birthday/ bother to do anything for it. But he stopped speaking to me the weekend before. I told him to accept that we would only ever be friends, and he replied, "Fine, just friends." I remeber that, because thats the last thing he ever said to me.

more later

All I need now is to be naked in front of homeroom...

Good old fashioned bonfire on saturday night. Everything going great aside from the Guys running down mainstreet naked after a hotub. Then it happened. The inevidable. One of my friends girlfriends decided to be sociable with the tomboy.

"So, Irish," She said, in her sweetest 'confide in me, were both girls' kind of way. "Hows stuff going with Rocker?" Looking at my confused look she clarified, "How long have you guys been dating now?"

Now, being drunk, and otherwise an idiot, I tried to tone down my horrified look.

"Oh, god. You are dating right?" She stammered.

"Their not dating" Hunk jumped in.

"I need a beer." I said.

"Have some of mine, Their not dating, its complicated, hey don't drink it all!" Hunk was laughing. I was not.

The entire bonfire stared at me, the Guys knowing the situations finer details, but not jumping in. Like a trainwreck all they could do was watch. After assuring the drunk moron I was fine and no, I didn't want a hug, I started my stare off into the fire. I knew this was going to happen, which was the weird thing. I didn't know it would be her exactly, but I knew it would be some aquaitences girlfriend, already stupid but stupider due to alcohol intake, and I knew they would get drunk and ask if Rocker and I were dating. I even heard the words she said in my head. Things between us were already on an all time high tension point, but I wasn't about to explain the whole story to a drunk girl.

However, I will explain it to you.

Rocker and I have been (had been) friends for a few years now. Both known in our highschool as being a little strange, me because of my multicolored hair and carefree attitude, him because of his outright weirdness. I always knew of him, and kind of met him through people, but didn't actually become friends with him until my victory lap of highschool.

Rocker was trying to get into my theatre class and was trying to convince the teacher. As I walked up to her, the teacher turned and said, "Rocker, you can join the class if someone here vouches for you that your going to take it seriously." She turned to me and assuming I was friends with him said, "Irish, what do you think? Does he deserve a chance?" Now, I didn't know him from Adam, but not wanting to embarass her, and not wanting to take away Rockers only chance, I said, "Oh, yeah. He'll do great in this class." Rocker looked me over and gave me a wee bit of a chill, but I shrugged it off.

And so it began.

For the next year or so, Rocker proceeded to hit on me and constantly pester me to sleep with him. Now, the thing about me is I don't sleep with people that I'm not in a relationship with. Lost it to my first serious boyfriend about the time of legal drinking age, and have never had a one night stand. So I wasn't about to start with one of my friends. I always blew him off and never so much as encouraged his flirting in any way. I was content being his friend.

Alright, my fingers are getting sore, hang on for more later.

Step-daughter of the Bride?

Wild night last night. The only rememberance of the night before was the splitting open of my head this morning. I walked into work with my sunglasses on carrying the biggest coffee Tim Hortons could find me. Boss looked me over and asked cautiously,

"Whats with the glasses?"

I mouthed hangover at her.

She did not look impressed. "It's 2 o'clock on a saturday. Not a great day for it either." and turned back to the customers she was wringing in. The store was a disaster. Clothes everywhere, children running around screaming, and changerooms with bitchy customers standing in front of them, looking for someone to kill.

"I'll man changerooms." Boss muttered something incoherant and I grabbed a key and pissed off.

After many long hours (ok, 2 hours) of helping angry people try on teenager clothes, my Da showed up at work. This usually only means one of two things:

1) Bad news, someones died
2)He brought me a coffee because he was in the neighbourhood.

Now since my Da is never in the neighbourhood of where I work, and he was holding no coffee that I could see, I could only assume the worst.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." I said.

He started fidgeting with his hands, "How're you?"

"Goo-" I started.

"That's great, hows your day been" Staring somewhere over my shoulder. "Great," I said, "The store caught fire for the first part, but Luckily we were able to put it out."

"Good, good." He said, "Listen I have some news." I held my breath, o god, someones died.

"Tuesday," He grinned, "I'm going to ask (Da's Fiance) to marry me." He looked at me expectantly.

First thought: Jaysus I need a drink.

Second thought: oh, shite, say something

Da's smile started to falter, say something! anything!

"Ahh,...Aren't you a little old to be getting remarried?" golden, you gobshite.

He, thankfully, laughed. "Yeah! And i'm fecking nervous!" He grinned like a fool again.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that I hated the woman. She was nothing but rude to me the few times i've seen her, and I do mean few. Still not convinced?

1) They've been together for 3 odd years, and i've seen her maybe 10 times.

2)She had Minor surgery about a year ago, and when I asked her, concerned, if she was ok, she snapped "Mind your own business!" after shooting my Da a look.

3)My family went to an Irish wedding for my Uncle last summer. This was a wedding that she, like my Stepda, was a guest to. My Uncle tells me at the reception that him and his new bride had to switch the tables around last minute, because my Da's Fiance didn't want to sit at the same table as my mother. So me, my Ma, my Stepda, my boyfriend at the time and my brother all sat at one table, with the wedding photographer, and my Da and his woman sat accross the room at another, with various extended family. I made it very clear that I was not pleased, that was just plain rude, as if my Uncle didn't have enough on his plate that day. She walked up to me at the reception and said, "Irish, don't you look lovely" and tried at a smile. I stared her down until she stopped smiling, turned, and walked away, leaving my poor boyfriend to make small talk with my Da.

So you can sense why I wouldn't want her as a permanent fixture, amoung other reasons like my Da buying a house with her and 'forgetting' to tell me, only admitting when I answered the phone from the realtor, or maybe the fact that he spends more time at her house then he does with me or my brother combined. But anyways.

Later that day, when I went to pick up my brother, My Da gave me my own sparkily ring, a flower made of tiny diamonds with a dark blue saphire in the middle, for my middle finger. He said to consider it a consolation prize.

Plans fall through...

Today my weekend camping plans fell through. The guys and I had planned on going camping for a weekend in the summer, and I was just waiting for all of them to pay me so i could book it. Hunk and I were planning this for awhile, so when he finally came online today, I jumped all over him trying to figure out whats going on...

Hunk: "Yeah, i've been thinking about it, and I don't think I can come after all..."

Me: you. asshole. "Really? Why?"

Hunk: "I just don't think i can afford it right now..."

He proceeded to tell me he has to save his money and couldn't be frivilous, my words not his, i don't think he knows what frivilous means. This was the last straw for me. we had already gone from about 20 people going on this camping trip, down to about 6 now. I had no idea what to say. I, for once, was actually stumped for words.

The thing i hate most about people getting nervous online is they tend to put 'lol' in front of everything. things you wouldn't normally laugh for, let alone out loud. Fallhard does it when hes angry, which annoys me more. why would you laugh when your angry?

More later...

How the Unluck came to be...

Now, before you get to far ahead of yourselfs, i'm not about to go into how I was conceived. That'll come later when we get to know each other better. Just kidding.

I am a young Canadian-Irish gal, stuck in a family of crazys. This is the story of my life, and although it may be a little scattered, i'll be sure to let you know when i take trips down memory lane. I've grown up in a nutter household, with a Da (crazy) and a Ma (super crazy) and a younger brother. Both parents have divorced and since remarried, they tried for an annulment but got stopped when the priest pointed out that since having two children, they had most likely consummating the marrige. Divorce it was.

I've grown up with all boys, with a few girlfriends in between. You'll hear about them later, since they are most of the source for my Unluck.

I hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoy writing it. I only started this because Fatarse told me my life was too strange to left untold. And so the story begins...